One of the first lessons of self-development teaches us to stop identifying ourselves with other people — be it our mentors, parents, significant others or our own children. The last one is often way too hard: many new parents, especially the ones who carried the child and gave birth, talk about the little ones as if they were parts of one whole person: “we ate,” “we spoke,” “we made our first teeny-weeny step” are phrases we regularly hear from them. This is reasonable for as long as the child can’t eat on its own. After that short period, we should let the little person in the family grow as a separate individual.
We are here to support and guide our children but it never means living their life for them. We are obliged to keep them reasonably safe, feed them well and make them feel loved every waking hour. But the love and care we give them must be in a reasonable amount. After all, our end goal is to raise self-sufficient and happy children who care for themselves and their loved ones. So make sure you teach them to be responsible. That’s the first step. And don’t be too hard on yourself: there is no such thing as a perfect parent. We all make mistakes and learn from them.
